


Elder Price And The Thoughts In His Head.

by Strawberry_Times



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Slow(ish) build, district 9 elders - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 17:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12040467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberry_Times/pseuds/Strawberry_Times
Summary: Snipets of Kevin Price's time in Uganda.





	Elder Price And The Thoughts In His Head.

Kevin arrived at the mission hut, no luggage, no Orlando, and no clue where he was. Elder Cunningham pushed past him rather forcefully, and ran inside. 

"The new recruits are here!!" An excitable red head exclaimed as 8 other elders filled the small room. Kevin looked at the scene. He wondered if he was going to get along with these people, if he was supposed to be here, how his mom was, how is Jack, where is his luggage? 

"Hey best friend, are you ok?" Elder Cunningham asked. 

"I'm just.. feeling a little confused right now is all." He said honestly because Mormons never lie. The red head, Elder McKinley as he had said, stepped forward and placed a rather sweaty palm on Kevin's shoulder. It was hot here, too hot, his hand was hot and sweaty and Kevin was sweating, and Elder McKinley was looking at him in a weird way which made Kevin feel sticky inside and he started sweating more.

He wondered why people wouldn't just listen to him, why these boys were telling him their life stories like he had even asked, why Elder McKinley was so obnoxious, and why everything was so strange in Uganda. He wondered these things as he was being shown to his room. It was small and Elder Cunningham wouldn't stop touching him. These boys in Uganda think Kevin has gay thoughts because they wouldn't listen, Elder Cunningham won't stop, he's sweating, and he wonders if Heavenly Father is watching him right now wondering if he was right to send him here.

Kevin doesn't think he is.

-

"Elder Cunningham-well I suppose I should say Prophet Cunningham, unless you aren't actually planning on writing that book, but- I'm getting ahead of myself. What am I doing here?.. Oh yeah! Elder Cunningham, have you seen Elder Price anywhere?" Elder McKinley was standing in the doorway, he was fixing his hair as he awaited a response.

"I think he went outside? I haven't seen him in awhile." Arnold said, stuffing a comic book (which he had hidden in his undergarments on the bus, and didn't get taken away by the General's soldiers) back under his pillow. Elder McKinley gave him a strange look and nod his head. He thanked Arnold and closed the door. 

He went to the common room. 

"Have any of you seen Elder Price? He wasn't at dinner and it's getting pretty dark I'm a little worried." He asked a few of the elders who were lounging.

"He told me he was going for a walk, but that was about an hour ago." Elder Church had said. 

"What? Ok, I'm going to go look for him, I'll be back soon." Elder McKinley said quickly exiting the hut, shutting the door behind him. He walked through the brush, solid ground, few trees, patchy grass. He looked around, it was dark and he couldn't see very well. "Elder Price?" He called out in hopes someone would call back, like a strange game of Marco Polo. He found himself walking toward to river where they had baptized the village people. "Elder Price?" He asked quietly, eyeing a figure sitting on the shore, with his feet stuck in the water, shoes abandoned next to him.

"Hello?" He asked, sitting up straight, alarmed by the other person. "Who is it?" 

"Elder McKinley.. May I join you?" He asked shyly. It was dark, and he still couldn't see very well. Elder Price looked at him a moment longer, then shrugged, staring at the water again with mild interest. Elder McKinley walked over, his shoes squishing on the shore, and sat criss-crossed next to the other boy. 

"...Do you think I made the right choice." Price asked after a few awkward moments of silence. McKinley stared at him, he was still watching the water, but now a sad look had adopted his face. 

"What do you mean Elder? Of course I believe you've made the right choice. Do I think it was a little rash, yeah, but hey," he hit Price's shoulder "I don't think anyone is complaining." He smiled at the boy. This was his time to prove himself to be a good leader, pick up his men in times of need. Elder Price looked him in the eyes, his hair was ruffled like it was being messed with, he was barefoot, his shirt was unbuttoned at the top and his tie was draped loosely across his shoulders. He seemed to be examining Elder McKinley, which made him extremely uncomfortable and he shifted under the other boys gaze. Price turned away.

"Do you think Heavenly Father thinks I made the right choice.." he asked looking at the moon, big, full and bright above them. He looked so desperate. Elder McKinley placed a hand on Price's shoulder, and he turned from the moon to him.

"I think Heavenly Father knew exactly what he was doing when he sent you here Elder Price." McKinley said looking him straight in the eyes. Something seemed to snap when he said that, like he lit a fire inside the other boy. The eye contact was still happening and now McKinley's hand felt like a weight on Price's shoulder so he withdrew it.

"Do you really think that." Price asked.

"I really do." He replied with a small smile. They sat there a while longer, price turned back to the moon.

"... I wonder if the moon feels as far away as it looks." He said clutching his knees. McKinley laughed, and said,

"I don't think the moon cares very much"

-

It's two in the morning and Kevin is still awake. Arnold is sleeping next to him, snoring like an old man. Kevin, for a moment, appreciates Arnold. He thinks to himself how much he disliked him, and now he feels exactly opposite of that. Kevin thinks he rather loves Arnold. 

But right now, he needs to get away from him and his snores. 

Kevin grabs his blanket and pillow and heads out to the common room. They have been here for three months, and it's still hot, but at night it's about 15 degrees cooler which Kevin thinks is a blessing. Nabalungi had surprised the Elders with a TV for their hut, which she had found at the market. It was a very small old Casio from the 90's, which only played VHS tapes. Arnold, who was just one giant nerd in Kevin's opinion, wrote home to his parents and asked them to send his movies over. So about a week ago, the hut had 30 sci-fi/kids movies for their small TV.

Kevin laid on the small couch and wrapped his blanket around himself, curling into his chest like a toddler.

He thought about his mom and if the mission president had gossiped to her, he thought about his dad and how disappointed he must be, he thought about Jack and his sister and his dog. He thought about McDonalds, and his moms garden, and his bed sheets. He thought about his friends and his church and his baby cousin. 

"Elder Price?" He heard a whisper from across the room. "Are you alright?"

Kevin wiped his eyes and looked over to the familiar voice. Elder McKinley stood in the doorway and was also carrying his blanket and pillow.

"Yes. I'm fine. Are you ok?" He asked sitting up on the couch. It was very dark.

"Well I- yes I suppose. What are you doing out here?" He asked crossing the room tentatively. 

"Arnold was keeping me awake with his snores I think." 

"I think?" McKinley questioned as he sat next to Kevin, their thighs brushed and Kevin's bare knee touched another bare knee because they were both in temple garments and suddenly it was hot.

"Yeah.. I've had a lot on my mind lately." He confessed. McKinley looked concerned, his eyes were big and blue and Kevin thought about the moon. 

"Would you like to talk about it Elder?" He asked, placing a hand on Kevin's back. He stiffened at the touch and McKinley withdrew his hand. 

He always seemed to be touching him, Kevin realized. When they were at dinner and Kevin would make McKinley laugh, he would hold Kevin's shoulder and hang his head as he caught his breath. He would place his hand on his back when he squeezed past him in the hallways to get to the bedrooms, and sometimes give him a pat on the shoulder, or brush their feet when they sat together. It reminded Kevin of a pining girl in those dramatic romance movies his mother watched, and he was thoroughly confused.

"Elder Price?" McKinley asked. Kevin realized he was pulling a face, and un-furrowed his eyebrows. "If you don't want to talk that's ok, but I would really like to know." Kevin could see the want in his eyes, and the pity. It made him angry.

"I don't need you feeling sorry for me." He said, eyebrows furrowed once more. McKinley shot his hands up in defense, confusion donning his face.

"Woah woah woah, ok. Listen, you don't have to use that tone of voice with me Elder, I'm just trying to help." Kevin was so mad. "And if anything, I shouldn't feel bad for you at all. Everything that happened was because of you, and I should be feeling sorry for the rest of us that have to clean up your mess." McKinley looked stern. Kevin balled his hands on his thighs and sat staring at the floor. "Oh don't pout Elder." McKinley said, crossing his arms and pouting right along with Kevin. They sat for a while. Pouting together. Kevin thought about jack, and how he and McKinley were both stubborn. After a few more moments, McKinley sighed, and dropped his hands to his lap. "I'm sorry, that was a little harsh. If anything this is all Elder Cunningham's fault, but who could ever blame a prophet." He finger quoted the last word, rolling his eyes.

"Are you?.." Kevin realized something. "Are you jealous of Arnold?" He asked, a smirk playing along with his furrowed eyebrows. Elder McKinley made a choking noise and looked at Kevin as if he had slapped his mother. 

"Wha- are you- I am- NO! I definitely am not jealous of Elder Cunningham. I just think it's a little ridiculous that he is suddenly this king because he replaced books of the Bible with frogs!" The Elder crossed his arms again and pouted. Kevin laughed, and thought of his baby cousin.

"Well..." he said, wrapping his blanket around himself once more. "I'm a little jealous. He abandoned a religion, saved an entire village, became a prophet, and got the girl." He shrugged. "Sounds pretty rad?"

McKinley looked at Kevin with a strange expression. He opened his mouth as if he were to say something, but quickly shut it. He took in a deep breath and picked himself up off the couch. "Goodnight Elder." He said exiting the room.

"Goodnight." Kevin said to himself.

-

It was dark, and his hand was hanging off the bed. Kevin checked the small alarm clock- 3:30. Goodness gracious, he needs to go back to sleep. He checked on Arnold, but his bed was empty, then he remembered Arnold had told him he was spending the night at Nabalungi's. Kevin rolled over onto his back, and then heard the door open. He sat up.

"Who's there?" He said. A figure walked into the room, tall and slim.

"It's Elder McKinley." He said, staring at Kevin in a strange way.. Like Kevin had something of his, and he needed it back. Elder McKinley sat on the edge of Kevin's bed next to him. For some reason this seemed so familiar, like it was a nightly routine. McKinley watched him, and Kevin watched back, like they were in a staring contest. The moon shown through the bent blinds on the window, and it made the Elder before him glow. 

McKinley turned his body so he was facing Kevin, still sitting on the edge. He lifted his hand to Kevin's cheek and he leaned into it. McKinley smiled a small smile, and rested his forehead on the other Elder's. 

They sat like that, foreheads touching. McKinley's eyes were closed, but he opened them and stared at Kevin as he slowly slid his hand into the other boys. McKinley looked down at Kevin's lips, and Kevin felt himself getting hot. McKinley kissed him on the mouth, and Kevin felt his hot breath on his lips. As McKinley pulled away Kevin wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him back. Their tongues were sliding against each other and McKinley kissed his jaw and his neck, sucking at his skin like it was candy. Kevin squirmed as McKinley moved to sit on his lap, pulling him closer and grinding into him. His breath was hot, his skin was hot, he was sweating and so was McKinley, he felt hips and fingers and noses and lips on his. McKinley's hand was touching his stomach-

Kevin woke up. 

He touched his forehead- it was wet. His breath was catching up to him. He closed his eyes and sat up in his bed. His thighs were wet and sticky, this hasn't happened to him in a long time. 

"Are you ok buddy?" Arnold was awake, the clock read 5:43. Kevin looked at him.

"I uh. I had a dream" 

"Ya no kidding, you're like, drenched in sweat right now." He said throwing his legs over the side of his bed. "You wanna talk about it?" Arnold said. 

"I have to pee." Kevin lied and scurried to the bathroom. He cleaned himself up the best he could and washed his hands thoroughly before returning to the room, where the light had been flicked on, and Arnold smiled a sympathetic smile at him. Kevin sat on his bed, and wrapped his blanket around himself. He thought about Elder McKinley and his lips, and his hands touching his stomach. He felt swirly.

"Are you ok Kevin?" Arnold said, looking confused.

"I don't know." He said honestly.

"That dream sounded pretty intense, you were making some weird choking noises I thought I was gonna have to wake you up, but then you kinda jolted yourself awake. What happened?" He asked again. Kevin thought about lips and thighs, and hot breath and he felt his stomach lift.

"It was a... It was one of uh.. those dreams..." Kevin could not believe he was confessing this right now. Arnold looked confused for about a half a second, then covered his laugh, which didn't fail to shriek from his voice.

"WHAT!? Kevin! Wha-what!" He was laughing pretty hysterically now and Kevin threw a pillow at him.

"It's not funny! This is the worst." He said hanging his head in despair. Arnold threw the pillow back, and it hit him in the face.

"Oh cmon, everyone has them. Who was it with? Do I know her?! Oh my gosh, is it one of the village mothers, I knew you liked cougars! Kevin, you dog!" Arnold was practically falling off his bed. Kevin felt like his head was gonna explode, his face was burning red.

"No it was- ugh Heavenly Father, I don't have to tell you anything." He said pouting. Arnold jabbed his side.

"Cmon!!" 

"No."

"Please? Was it one of the villagers?"

"No it wasn't?"

"Was it someone from back home?"

"Not exactly?"

"Is it anyone I would know?" Kevin thought about hot breath and lips.

"Yes."

"Then who?"

"I... I really can't tell you Arnold." 

"C'Mon Kev, who am I gonna tell? You can trust me!"

"Hhhhhh ok...ok! okokokok." He said staring at his feet that were covered by the blanket. "I had a dream that- and you will never believe this- Elder McKinley-"

"ELDER MCKINLEY"

"SHHHHHHH!" Kevin jumped to the other bed and shot a hand over Arnold's mouth. Arnold was yelling and blabbering incoherence against his hand. "Arnold be quiet- be quiet! Ow! Don't bite me!" 

"You like Elder McKinley!?" 

"No!"

"But you dreamed about him- doing- Stuff! Doing stuff to you!" Arnold covered his mouth. "Oh my God, did you guys do it?"

"Arnold please keep your voice down, and no we didn't do it." Kevin let out a big breath. "He came into the room, and you weren't here, and he just sorta? Kissed me? But it felt so normal. It felt like we did it all the time. Then he started kissing me and touching me all over and he sat on my lap and- oh god." Kevin covered his lap with the pillow. Arnold shrieked. 

"Are you gonna tell him you like him!"

"I don't think I do like him? This was the first time I've ever thought of something like that... With an actual person at least." Kevin stared at his hands, fiddling his thumbs. Arnold, for once in his life, was silent. 

"... So you don't like him?" He asked, looking at Kevin. 

"That's the thing, I feel like I barely even know him!" Kevin exclaimed. Arnold put a reassuring hand on Kevin's back. "This dream really messed with my head. It felt so... So real? Too real... But I've never even thought of him that way? Why would I?"

"Well, you two have been spending more time together, maybe you're just lonely and your brain picked Elder McKinley because he's new and confusing sometimes. Like... Like when somebody mentions that they really like Superman ice cream but you have never had it so you're like, 'huh I wonder if I like Superman ice cream?' It's like that... Y'know what I mean?" Arnold was confusing Kevin. 

"I'm just gonna lay down." Kevin went back to his own bed and curled into a ball as Arnold turned off the light. He closed his eyes and saw swollen lips and felt skin.

"Goodnight best friend."

"Goodnight pal."

-

Kevin sat with Elder Church and Elder Thomas and some of the village people. It was so hot. Kevin was sweating, and could see the sunburn forming already. He was helping Kimbe move wood to patch up a hole in her roof, and they had just finished. As he was making small talk with the other Elders, Naba came and sat with them. 

"Hello Elder Price." She said as she wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "What are you doing for the rest of the day?" 

"Well I was going to eat dinner and sleep but I assume you have other plans?" He said, a smile playing on his lips. Nabalungi laughed, Kevin thought about sunflowers.

"My father wants to throw a party to celebrate Arnold's birthday."

"But his birthday isn't until next week?" 

"Yes but my father believes a true surprise is when they least expect it. Plus, as of right now nobody is dead, and we cannot guarantee that next week." I guess she has some kind of a point there, Kevin thought. 

"So what do you need me to do?" He asked.

"Just make sure Elder Cunningham is at my house by 7 o'clock. Thank you!" She kissed Kevin's cheek, then turned to Church and Thomas. "You are invited also, and the other white boys. Be to my home by 7, but please do not say anything to Elder Cunningham." She smiled and skipped away, Kevin felt lonely once she was gone.

Kevin walked back to the hut with the two other elders, and Church talked about how he and Elder McKinley were going to watch The Little Mermaid tonight, 'but I guess that won't happen.' They entered the hut, and Kevin sat on the couch, some other Elders were sprawled on the floor, shirts unbuttoned and ties hanging loosely, trying to keep cool. 

"Heavenly Father it's hot today." Elder Zelder said as he draped himself over the small coffee table. 

"Elders please, proper attire." Elder McKinley stated walking into the room from the hallway. His shirt was buttoned to the collar and his tie was neatly in it's place. Kevin thought he looked a little silly, since his hair had begun to grow out and he had to keep brushing it from his eyes. He sat next to Kevin on the small couch, resting his elbow on the arm chair. "I take it you had a good day helping the people?" He said, smiling at Kevin.

"Ya, it was alright, except for when Sister Kimbe's son kept latching onto my leg and wouldn't let go." Kevin thought of the small child, clinging to him like Velcro, and having to be pried off. McKinley pat his shoulder and chuckled.

"Well, kids will be kids." His hand was still resting on Kevin's shoulder, playing with the collar of his shirt. "Back in Virginia, I worked at this daycare- it was horrible first off- and the kids seemed to be attached to me by the hip. They were always pulling and yanking my hair, it was the worst." Kevin was a little distracted.

"Ya that sounds pretty bad." he said trying not to feel the other elder as he messed with his collar, tracing his finger around it. McKinley looked him in the eyes. Moon eyes, Kevin thought to himself.

"It was." His hand had stopped fidgeting with his collar, like he had just now realized what he was doing. Kevin felt a little out of breath. 

"Elder Price what do we do until 7 o'clock?" Elder Thomas asked. McKinley's hand was gone and Kevin was staring wide eyed at Thomas. 

"What?" He asked confused.

"What's happening at 7 o'clock?" McKinley asked. He looked thoroughly unshaken by their little 'moment' a few seconds ago. He was sitting happily, his legs crossed and his hands folded in his lap. Kevin remembered.

"Oh, don't say anything to Arnold, but tonight Mafala is throwing an early birthday party for him. We have to 'escort' him there by 7." Some of the elders went from slumps of boys to excited children.

"A birthday party?"

"That sounds super fun!"

"In all honesty I was about to just let myself die because I've been so bored lately." Church said, and Thomas punched his shoulder. "Ow!" He lunged forward and tackled Thomas, the two boys began wrestling and McKinley was up in about two seconds to try to detain them, other boys were laughing and Zelder threw his shoe at them, and was soon roped into the four-boy scuffle. 

Kevin was laughing now, and for the first time since he came to Uganda, he felt like he was home.

-

Arnold was asleep when Kevin went in the room at 7 o'clock. He looked as if he wasn't supposed to be asleep, more like it happened on accident. He was sitting up right against the wall, drool spilling from his mouth, and a comic book abandoned on his lap. Kevin laughed, and looked out into the hallway as Elder Michaels was passing.

"Please come look at this." He said quietly, grabbing the Elders arm. They stumbled back into the room, and Michael's covered his laugh.

"Heavenly Father how does he sleep like that?" He asked in astonishment. "Well. Wake him up! We have to go!" He said with a peppy smile and exited the room after lightly hitting Kevin's arm. Kevin stared at Arnold once more. He was smiling as he thought Arnold resembled his younger sister and how she used to fall asleep all the time during impromptu family movie nights. He missed her a lot.

"Arnold, pal, wake up." He shook his arm, and Arnold made a choking noise as he coughed up some swallowed drool. Kevin stepped back, a little grossed out.

"Oh! Wha?" Arnold took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Is it morning?"

"No bud, it's 7, we have to go to Nabalungi's."

"Is she ok?" He asked, suddenly very serious, wiping drool from his chin.

"Yes she's fine," Kevin smiled at him. "But there's something you need to see." Arnold and Kevin walked to the common room where the others were waiting. Arnold looked extremely confused as they walked in a group to the village. 

It was desolate when they arrived, not a soul to be seen. Arnold looked even more confused. Kevin thought about his home town and his cul-de-sac community which, ironically, almost never had children playing outside. He thought of his old bike, and of his sneakers. He saw Church talking to McKinley, who was laughing. His nose crinkled when he laughed. 

They got to Naba's front door and Thomas knocked. Suddenly, like an explosion, villagers appeared on all sides, emerging from bushes and huts, holding drinks and some food. It was warm and loud. 

"Furaha ya Kuzaliwa!" Nabalungi yelled jumping into Arnold's arms and kissing his lips. He was smiling at her, his face very red. Kevin was a little shocked at the PDA but let it slip.

"What is going on?" He asked, laughing. She kissed his cheek, holding his face in her hands and laughed, bubbly and bright. Kevin was warm.

"Happy birthday!" She yelled. "Furaha ya Kuzaliwa!" Some other villagers said the phrase as well, and Arnold teared up.

"But my birthday isn't until next week?" He said holding her tight.

"Well my son," Mafala said, clapping Arnold on his back, "why wait to celebrate your happiness." Arnold clutched both Naba and Mafala in his arms, wheezing on them. Kevin found himself looking over to McKinley, who was watching the scene before him so intently. He looked concentrated, like he was studying something he had never seen before, and was learning through watching. He looked at Kevin, Kevin looked away.

The villagers were setting up a small table where food and drinks were, some were getting a little fire started, and some were singing and dancing. Arnold spent most of his time clung to Nabalungi, and as the sky grew dark, torches were lit to light the scene up. Kevin watched as small children ran and played, and thought about his family reunions and Aunt Beth and Uncle Marshall, Grandma Loraine his many many cousins, and how unhappy he was. As he thinks back, he wonders if he would ever want to trade this life for his previous one. Here in Uganda there is death and poverty. But there is also love, real love, and laughter, and happiness and children playing outside and people kissing you on the cheek. Here there is Arnold and Nabalungi, there are birthday parties like non Kevin had ever been too. There is dirt and sweat and the moon by the river. There is danger and comfort, and a shoulder to cry on- well, 9 shoulders to cry on. 

"Hey stranger." Kevin watched as Elder McKinley walked over and stood next to him. They were leaned up against one of the huts, watching the party from the outside.

"Hey." Kevin smiled at him. "Did you know, in two weeks, I'll have been here 5 months?" He watched Elder Galli try to corral some toddlers. "That's crazy." He said with a smile.

"Yknow what's even crazier? I'll have been here 8 months..." Elder McKinley was not smiling. He looked sad.

"Are you ok?" Kevin asked. The other boy was silent.

"Wanna get out of here?" He said with a smirk. Kevin looked back to the party and nod his head. They crept away from the light and music, walking to the baptism river, where they could be secluded behind the tall grasses on the shore. Kevin thought about Safari ants, and Superman ice cream, and the moon, and Elder McKinley's eyes. They sat by the waters edge, and Kevin laid on the soft grass. "Elder? Do you ever miss home?" McKinley asked, staring at the half moon above them. He was still sitting up.

"... No." Kevin said. "I think Uganda is more home to me than my real home." McKinley looked back at him.

"Really?" 

"Yes." He looked back to the moon, and it shown on his hair, Kevin thought about angels and a song his little sister sang when she was a toddler.

"I'm not even sure I have a home to go back too." McKinley said to the moon. "Heavenly Father I think I might be homeless in America." He laughed and hung his head, running a stressed hand through his hair. Kevin sat up.

"Why is that?" He asked. McKinley looked back, Kevin could tell he was trying not to cry. 

"My parents were never too fond of me Elder Price. I do believe they loved me, but I think they felt stuck with me."

"Yknow, Arnold said the same thing about his dad, but look at him now." 

"Well Elder I'm not Arnold." He said sternly, turning away again. "He seems to have it so easy. Even when everything sucks it seems to be so easy!" McKinley gestured to nothing with his hands. 

"Don't judge a book by it's cover Elder"

McKinley laughed at that, he laughed like it was one of the funniest things he's ever heard, then he hung his head and sobbed. He sobbed like this was the first time he had ever cried, his body was shaking and his head was in his knees, he sucked in snot from his nose and didn't even bother wiping the tears away. Kevin didn't know what to do. When his sister cried, it was because of a boy or a movie, never something like this. Kevin sat up and stretched his hand to meet the other Elders shoulder, at the contact McKinley turned around and threw himself into Kevin, clinging desperately to his shoulders, crying uncontrollably and getting his shirt wet. Kevin held him, thinking that it was the best thing to do in the moment. 

They sat there like that, McKinley crying in the moonlight by a river in Uganda, and Kevin holding him, saying nothing, and scratching his back. Eventually the crying stopped and McKinley sat with his legs draped over Kevin's lap, and his head resting on his shoulder. 

"... I'm sorry for crying on you" he said staring at the ground. His voice sounded groggy and stuffed.

"... It's ok." Kevin said, still scratching his back with one arm, lightly dancing his fingers across it. "But next time I have a breakdown you have to hold me." McKinley laughed, and wiped his nose. 

"Will do." He said closing his eyes and snuggling into Kevin's side. Kevin thought that if anyone happened to see this, they would get the wrong idea. This was not a love scene, anything but in his opinion, but they were cuddling like lovers. McKinley was scared, and Kevin was lonely. 

"I know you said that you won't have a home to go back to, but you never told me why." Kevin whispered, feeling that this wasn't the right time to talk loud. McKinley sighed and wrapped his arms around Kevin's waist, holding him closer. Kevin had never touched or been touched by anyone like this, it was a weird feeling and he didn't really know how to reciprocate, but the closeness was comforting.

"I don't really wanna talk about it..." McKinley was playing with Kevin's tie. "Let's talk about something else."

"Like what?" He felt hair on his cheek, and rest his head on McKinley's. 

"I don't know... Do you have any pets back home?" He asked quietly.

"Ya, I have a dog, she's a golden retriever." He said smiling to himself thinking back to his house in Utah. "What about you?"

"My mom used to have a canary. It was yellow and really annoying." Kevin laughed, which made McKinley laugh as well. He thought of a young McKinley, covering his ears as a bird squeaks in the living room. "My sister hated that canary, when it died she was the one to bury it in the back yard."

"You have a sister?" Kevin asked. 

"Ah, already talking about girls." McKinley chuckled, and Kevin rolled his eyes. "Yes I do, she's much older than me though, about six years. She got married a few years ago and she and her husband moved into the same neighborhood as my parents." His voice sounded resentful. "They have three kids, and never miss church... The perfect family..." Kevin thought McKinley was a little jealous.

"Y'know, I have a sister too. But she's three years younger than me, I also have a brother, Jack, who's a year younger." McKinley felt relaxed against him. 

"I like to listen to you talk." He said. Kevin didn't really know how to respond. He breathed out an awkward laugh.

"I uh.. My family is really big. We have these family reunions every Christmas, and go to my Grandma's house up state. It's huge there, this giant plantation thing she inherited from her dad. All my aunts and uncles and cousins come and we throw a big Christmas party. It's pretty great."

"It sounds great." McKinley shifted his head and kevin could feel his breath on his collar bone through his shirt. He thought of McKinley kissing his neck, and his hand up his shirt. Kevin swallowed and shifted under McKinley's weight. "My family was never really big. We kinda just stuck to ourselves... It sucked." Hands and lips. "I was always compared to my sister, 'oh Connor how come Shirley has a boyfriend but you can't seem to find anybody?'" 

"Connor?" Kevin asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah, that's my name..." he rested his head further into Kevin's neck. "You can call me that if you want."

"Ok... I'm Kevin." Connor chuckled.

"I know, I have files on all of you. Just another perk of being district leader." He said sarcastically.

"We uh... should head back to the hut." 

"What?"

"It's getting really late I'm sure the others are home by now." 

He untangled himself from Kevin. "Ya, uh... let's go."

As they walked, path lit by only the moon, back to the hut, Kevin thought of the lake and Connors tears. He thought of his sister, and canaries and Christmas and how he should probably contact his mother.

Probably.

-

They were by the river again, except this time nobody was crying.

"What did you do for fun back home?" Connor was laying on the grass, and Kevin was dipping his feet in the water. 

"I don't know really." Kevin said. "I spent most of my time studying the Book of Mormon." He said looking up at a cloud. It was very hot today, and Kevin was sweating. Connor scoffed behind him.

"Geez really? And just when I thought you couldn't get any more perfect." Kevin rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah yeah, laugh it up Elder." Kevin splashed some water on him, and it got in Connors mouth. He spit it out with a disgruntled look on his face and Kevin laughed tiredly. It was really hot. "What did you do?" Connor made an arrogant face.

"I danced."

"Really?" Kevin asked genuinely. Connor smiled at him and stuck a leg in the air, pointing his toes. Connor had really long legs.

"Why yes Elder Price." He put his leg back down, and Kevin wished for about half a second that he hadn't. "I had a dance class every day after school- well except for Wednesdays because we had church. But I also had a class on Saturdays."

"Are you any good?" Connor kicked him and Kevin laughed again.

"I think I am." He said rolling over on his side. He was very close to Kevin, about half his body was behind him, and his head was next to Kevin's leg. He drew circles on Kevin's thigh, while he rested his head on his other hand, propped up by his elbow. Kevin's thigh tickled and it gave him goosebumps, but he didn't let Connor see. "I danced for about eleven years, and only stopped about a month before my mission." 

"Oh wow." Kevin said. "Do you miss it?" 

"Yeah... A lot actually." Connor looked as though he was deep in memory. He snapped out of it and tapped Kevin's thigh. "I can do a split y'know." He wiggled an eyebrow at Kevin, and Kevin didn't really know how to respond.

"... Cool." He said. Connor rolled onto his back. He was sprawled out on the grass.

"Heavenly Father I'm bored." He groaned.

"I'm sorry." Kevin said with an amused smile. He removed his feet from the water, and put his socks and shoes back on. His shoes were dirty, and he made a face. "I wish we had different shoes. These weren't meant to be worn this much."

"I don't think they were meant to be worn in Uganda." Connor said from the ground. He sat up and draped himself over Kevin's shoulder. "Kevin, I'm very bored."

He smiled and turned to him. Their faces were very close and Connor was blushing. "Connor, I'm very sorry." He said with a smile. Connor stared at him. His face growing ever slightly more red by the second. He stood up.

"Let's go see what Elder Church is doing."

"I like Elder Church." Kevin said, and they walked together back to the hut.

-

He found himself spending more and more time with Connor. Taking walks when they felt bored, talking by the lake, sitting next to each other at dinner or when the elders would accumulate in the common room to watch a movie on the small tv. Nothing big, but they did have a certain fondness for each other that the others didn't really understand. 

Kevin found that his thoughts were almost always involving Connor in one way or another. Either remembering a funny joke he told that made Connor laugh and crinkle his nose, or seeing something and wondering how Connor would react to it. He would try to do things to make Connor notice him, it was a little pathetic Kevin had to admit, but it worked.

The elders sat around the kitchen table, eating breakfast quietly. Today they had to go to the market and get more food.

"Elder Price would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the market today?" Connor smiled at him from across the table. Kevin smiled.

"Ya, why not?" Connor flashed a big toothy grin at him, and ate another bite of his oatmeal. Arnold was giving him a weird look.

"Well we should go after breakfast since it's about a 45 minute walk to the market." 

"Ok." Kevin said. The elders finished their breakfast and put the dishes in the sink to be washed. Kevin and Connor said goodbye and head out the door. 

They walked side by side to the market place. Connor had been gifted a hair tie from Naba the other day, and was sporting a top knot. His hair was so long now since he had stopped trying to cut it after they had all abandoned some of the rules. It was one of the only rules he broke, and Kevin thought it was a little distracting. While others stayed up late, or cursed, Connor let his hair grow out to nearly his shoulders, it was thick and curled at the ends. A dark auburn color. 'I've never grown it out and I just wanna try' he had said to Kevin with a shrug one day.

"So. We need rice, vegetables, meat -if we can find any that I trust- and it wouldn't hurt to try to find some new shirts for the elders. These are all so hot." Connor said dramatically pulling on his collar, he had stopped wearing his tie about a month ago and Kevin had made fun of him for being so late to the game.

"New shirts? Do we have money for that?" Kevin asked.

"I am a master budgeter Elder Price. I have covered us." Connor said with a cocky smirk. Kevin rolled his eyes and laughed. 

"Well thank the lord someone here is getting us through." Connor jabbed him in the ribs, and Kevin laughed.

"Yes sir I think I will get us all t-shirts and get you a crop top. It's time to motivate you to start working on that summer body." Connor poked his stomach teasingly.

"Summer body? It's August." Kevin said with a chuckle.

"It's never to late to get in shape Elder Price." He said with a smile closing his eyes. Kevin lunged at him, and Connor shrieked, laughing, trying to pry him off as Kevin tightened his grip on his torso and lifted him into the air. 

"In shape!? I'm probably the most in shape Elder we have here!" Kevin yelled. Connor was trying to get his breath, laughing harshly. 

"Kevin! Oh my gosh- put me down-"

"Tell me I'm strong!" Kevin tightened his grip as he held him up, still walking along the path. Connor was laughing, breathless as he yelled,

"You're strong! You're strong! Put me-KEVIN oh my gosh, put me down!" Kevin dropped him, somewhat gracefully, and Connor straightened his shirt and fixed his hair. "You're such a brute." He said once he had collected himself.

"That's what you get for insulting me." 

"I didn't insult you, I merely suggested that you should work out more. And besides, we all know you're the best looking of the elders so I don't think you have much to worry about, appearance-wise that is." Kevin rewinded what he just heard. 'Best looking'. Connor thought he was the best looking.

"Is that so?" He pretended he was not caught up in Connor's words. "Well I thought I had some fierce competition with Elder Thomas but I guess I was mistaken?" He asked, a smirk playing at his lips. Connor laughed and hit his shoulder playfully.

"Oh stop fishing for compliments." He was next to Kevin, in-step the two walked side by side down the path that led to the market. 

A humble silence filled the air, the two boys just took in the scene around them. Kevin looked over to Connor, who quickly averted his eyes. Connor's face went red as he tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. Kevin wanted to hold his hand, an urge he had never really experienced before. He watched Connor's hand fall back to his side and he thought of how easy it would be to grab it and keep it warm. He thought about them holding hands walking to the market place, and holding hands at dinner, and holding hands during the movie nights they sometimes had. Kevin almost tried, he was so close already, but he lost his nerve and didn't move his hand. Connor took a deep breath in, and looked over to him.

"Tell me... If you had money and could buy anything you wanted, what would you buy?" Connor asked.

"An air conditioning machine for the hut." Kevin replied. Connor laughed. His nose crinkled.

"No I'm being serious."

"So am I, it's like, ninety in there all the time!" He said with a chuckle. Connor looked up to the sky as they walked. It was cloudy today, and Kevin hoped it would rain soon.

"I think I would buy a bigger bed." He said contently. Kevin imagined Connor in bed, sleeping soundly, unperturbed by hell dreams. He imagined himself crawling into bed with Connor and holding his hand.

"Ya, that's a good one." He said, and they walked silently again. It was nice, he thought, to have such a comfortable relationship with somebody. Kevin had only ever been close with Arnold, no one else had really ever had an effect on him before besides Arnold and Naba and Connor. He thought about Connor and his long hair and forgotten tie. His big hands, and the bed he wanted. He thought about the moon and his eyes, and the river with the tall grass. Kevin thought about these things, wondering if Connor thought about them as well. He likes to think that he does, reminding himself of the first day they met, when Connor confessed to having gay thoughts. Kevin wonders if Connor still tries to turn it off.

The market was full, much to Kevin's dismay. But they trooped on anyhow. Connor searched through tables of different items and vendors, trying to find what they needed. They found a vendor selling shirts, trying to get the right sizes, with limited choices. Most of the shirts were very plain and expressionless, except Arnold's, which was a bright pink (the only shirt they had in his size). Connor held up a shirt to himself, and then to Kevin. 

"This would fit better on you." He said.

"We're practically the same height though?" Kevin said in confusion.

"Ya but you're?" He made a gesture to Kevin's chest. "Bulkier." 

They walked through the market, Connor picked up different food items as they strolled along, and handed them to Kevin, who had the extraordinary honor of carrying everything. His arms were full of recycled bags with food and shirts. The sun was setting by the time they departed, and it was beginning to cool down. Connor's hair glowed bright in the sunset, and it looked like the sky above them. His freckles were in full blast since he had come here, popping up all over his face and arms. Kevin was a few shades darker as well, the sun finding a home in his skin. He thought of how his mother would react to him this way, with his dark skin, seriously contradicting how it was when he left her. He probably thinks there's a lot of stuff his mother would find wrong with him now. 

"Hey. Are you ok?" Connor asked beside him. Kevin smiled at him.

"Ya... I'm great actually." He said looking back to the path. Connor was quiet. "I was just thinking of my mom."

"... oh." Connor looked apprehensive. "What about her?" 

"I don't know. Just how she would react if she was seeing me right now." He looked up at the sky. Soft orange. "Walking home in Uganda, alone with another boy." Connor shot his head around. His face was red. He looked back to the path.

"What do you mean? She doesn't have anything to worry about... Does she?" He was looking at Kevin again, Kevin didn't look back. Soft orange.

"I don't know." He said. Connor stared at him, and Kevin looked him in the eyes. Two moons contrasting with the sunset in his hair and the stars on his face. Kevin was blushing but didn't stop walking or break the eye contact. Connor looked away, back to the path.

"I hope you can figure it out Elder Price." Connor said calmly.

"Yeah... me too." 

-

"Alright. Spill." Came Arnold's voice.

Kevin was sitting with him and Naba, under a tree in the village. 

"What are you talking about?" He asked confused. Arnold looked at him dumbly and Naba covered a laugh. She was lying on the floor, head on Arnold's thigh.

"C'mon Kev! Don't play dumb. What is going on between you and McKinley?" Oh. "You guys have been inseparable lately! And you're always staring at each other, and sneaking off together, it's weird?" Kevin didn't really know how to respond.

"It's not that weird." He said. "I mean. You do the same thing with Naba?" 

"Ok, yeah, but we're in a relationship. You guys aren't-"

"Do not just assume that Elder Cunningham!" Nabalungi piped in, giggling from her spot on the ground. Kevin was flushed, and could feel the heat radiating off his cheeks. 

"Guys. We are not in a relationship." Kevin was angry. "Why would you even think that?"

"I see the way you act around him Elder Price. It is very different than the way you act around others." Naba said.

Kevin was so confused.

"Just because I act different around him doesn't mean anything! We're close? I'm not allowed to be close to someone? I'm close with you two!"

"It's not just that Kevin, it's... You're a completely different person around him! You're happier and flirty. And I just think you two should tone it down a little." Arnold said, putting his hand on Kevin's shoulder, he rudely bumped it off. Nabalungi sat up next to Arnold.

"No! I don't flirt with him! Why would you say that."

"Well you two are always together, you laugh at everything he says, he's always touching you-"

"But so are you!"

"But I don't touch you and think about it!" Arnold lowered his voice. "Or dream about it." Kevin was breathing heavily. He needed Arnold to shut up right now. "You two seriously need to be more careful, that stuff isn't allowed in this country!" Kevin stood up. Nabalungi looked sadly at him.

"Shut the fuck up Arnold you have no idea what you're talking about." Kevin was raging as he walked away without looking back. "Kevin!" He heard being yelled behind him. He was sick of Arnold pretending to be so high and mighty. Sick of Arnold and Nabalungi gossiping about him. Sick of how hot it was outside, sick of Uganda and his own thoughts. His fists were clenched as he walked back to the hut, breathing heavily. He was so angry. So angry, and Arnold didn't know what he was talking about. Nobody did. Everyone always assumed things about Kevin and they were always wrong.

They assumed he was amazing, and would save them. They assumed he knew what to do, they assumed he was confident and charismatic. They assumed he was an asshole, and conceited. Sometimes they even assumed he was a player. He wasn't any of those things. He was just Kevin. Scared, lonely, 19 year old Kevin, who needed to calm down before he passed out or cried. 

He cried. 

He sat down by the nearest tree and cried so hard he got a headache, and then cried some more. He felt empty and angry. His face was red and snot was dripping from his nose as his sobs racked his body. He sat there, crying like a toddler until somebody found him. He hoped it was Arnold. 

"Elder Price?" It wasn't Arnold. "Hey, hey, Elder? Are you ok? What happened?" He looked up and saw elders Church and Micheal's, both staring like he was some strange animal at the zoo. He looked at them, quiet tears running down his cheeks. His pants were dirty, and they helped him off the floor, and walked him to the hut, which was only a minute or two away. They entered through the front door, and Micheal's walked him to the district office at the end of the hallway. He entered and left Kevin in the hallway. A few moments later a very confused Connor came out of the door, and looked at Kevin. Micheal's slipped past them both, and left the hut with Church. Kevin was staring at Connor, who was staring back, amazed. He opened the door to the office and gestured inside. Kevin hung his head and walked in. He sat awkwardly in an armchair that squeaked under his weight. Connor sat at the small desk and stared at him, confused.

"Kevin?" He looked up. He tried to hold back, but when their eyes met he thought of Arnold saying that he was flirty and he broke down, fresh tears racing down his cheeks. Connor was up in a second, kneeling next to Kevin, and wrapping his arms around his neck. Kevin didn't hold him, even though he so desperately wanted to, but he didn't want to prove Arnold right. That they acted different together. Connor removed himself, and stared again at Kevin, confused. "Kevin?" He said. Kevin didn't look at him. "Kevin." He said again, placing his hands on Kevin's cheeks, and lifting his head. Their eyes met. Kevin felt Connor wipe a tear from his cheek, and Kevin broke down again, hugging Connor so hard, just to feel that he was there. 

Connor hugged him back, whispering reassurances into his ear. Kevin was shivering and crying and thinking of Arnold. Connor was stroking a hand in Kevin's hair, as he came down. He was still awkwardly on the floor, sitting on his knees, between Kevin's legs, holding him and stroking his hair as Kevin sat in the office chair. 

"... Sorry for crying on you..." he whispered into Connors shoulder and took in a shuddering breath.

"This seems oddly familiar." Connor laughed and whispered into his ear. He held Kevin closer, nuzzling their heads. Kevin thinks Connor might have been smiling. Kevin was confused. He let Connor go, and removed himself from his grasp. Their faces were really close. Connor was looking at him, then at his lips, and his head tilted ever so slightly. Kevin sucked in a breath. Connor looked him back in the eyes, they were darker now.

"I uh.." Kevin sat up straight, turning away from him, and wiping his eyes. Connor stayed where he was for a touch longer, then sat back on the floor, before getting up and brushing off his pants. There was an awkward silence so thick you had to push through it to turn your head. Connor was staring at Kevin again. His brows were furrowed. Kevin stared at the floor. "I'm sorry." He whispered so quietly he didn't even know if Connor could hear it. 

"I don't know what you're talking about Elder Price." Kevin looked up, angry.

"Oh c'mon Connor really?" Connor took a step back. And hung his head, running a hand through his hair.

"No, no I'm sorry that was horrible." He said. He was rambling to himself. Kevin sat awkwardly in his chair. Connor paced the floor. "I don't know why... But you... You just?" He gestured to nothing. "You break down all my walls Kevin." He was staring at him intensely. "I had everything figured out, planned and in control. Then you strolled in here and ruined everything. Everything I tried to put away and lock up. Everything I have built for myself. Everything I hid from my parents so that they never had to find out about what goes on in my head." He was pacing again. "I never thought I would feel these things again, I thought it was over. And you just?" He stopped. "Brought them back, without my permission." He laughed. "You are so infuriating." Kevin stood up.

"I should go."

"No no wait." Connor grabbed his arm. "I don't want you to leave like this." He hugged him. He hugged him and didn't let go until Kevin hugged back. They stood there, letting out all their frustrations into each other. Kevin took a deep breath. He could breathe.

"Friends?" He said when they parted. McKinley looked a little disheartened, but smiled none-the-less. 

"Friends." And Kevin left.

-

Kevin spent more time with Connor, if that was even possible. They were attached at the hip, and it was mostly because Kevin was still mad at Arnold and wanted to prove him wrong.

But by trying to prove him wrong, he was only proving Arnold's point further, Kevin had annoyingly realized one day while he and Connor sat on his bed. Kevin was sitting up against the wall, and Connor was between his legs, back to him, getting his hair braided by Kevin. 

"Do you know what you're doing?" Connor asked, trying to touch the braid with his hand. Kevin smacked it away. Connors hair has reached his shoulders now, and was immensely thick and wavy.

"Yes I do! I have a sister, she made me braid her hair sometimes." Kevin finished his braid and held the end. "Gimme a hair tie." Connor removed the tie from his wrist and handed it to Kevin, who tied off the end of the braid. Connor felt it with his hands, and turned himself around, sitting criss-cross between Kevin's legs. 

"Not bad." He said with a smirk. "But what else should I expect from Kevin Price." He dramatically swooned onto Kevin's chest, and Kevin laughed, pushing him off. Connor was wearing his cotton t-shirt he bought from the market. It was dark green, and had a yellow collar. Kevin said he looked funny, but secretly he thought it looked nice on him. 

"I told you I know what I'm doing." He said sitting up. 

"Do you now?" Connor teased him, a small blush spread on his cheeks, and he looked at Kevin with a twinkle in his eye. His fingers found their way to Kevin's hand, tapping away at his palm happily. He brushed his hand up Kevin's arm, and rested his arms around Kevin's neck. 

"Are you flirting with me Elder McKinley?" Kevin asked with a small smile. Connors blush grew, spreading to his whole face. He avoided Kevin's eyes, but played with his hair. The smile didn't leave his face as he said,

"I think I am Elder Price." And then he looked in his eyes. Kevin was no longer smiling, instead looking intently at Connor, who was staring back, just as intently. Connor visibly swallowed, then leaned forward and kissed Kevin's cheek. Kevin sucked in a small breath. He wanted to kiss Connor. He wanted to kiss Connor so bad it hurt. Connor's face was warm, and he was still close, in Kevin's personal space. He looked Connor in the eyes. 

The moon.

He kissed him. Connor made a little surprised noise, and Kevin pulled away. They sat on his bed. Connor in between Kevin's legs with braided hair and a green t-shirt. Both boys blushed so hard you would think they had just run 100 meters. Connor looked back at Kevin's lips, and leaned in slowly. Their lips met. His were soft and warm, and slow. Kevin like the feeling of being so close to him. He kissed back and put his hand on Connor's thigh, Connor wrapped his arms fully around Kevin's neck, and pulled him closer. He kissed him harder, and faster, pulling lightly at Kevin's hair. He felt something shoot through him, and it made his stomach churn. He kissed Connor hard, slowly swiping his tongue against Connor's lip. 

Kevin had never kissed anyone before, but when their tongues touched he thought he was going to pass out. They were two teenage mormons, sitting on Kevin's bed past curfew making out and Kevin had never been more scared and simultaneously ecstatic in his entire life. Connor pulled away and Kevin chased his mouth. 

"Hold on." Connor whispered, he sounded out of breath. He sat up and got closer to Kevin, sitting on his lap, straddling his thighs. Kevin was immediately reminded of his dream, and when Connor kissed him, he made a noise he didn't know he could make. Connor pulled away from him, something dark in his eyes like the day they were in his office. Kevin was embarrassed but he was honestly so turned on right now he didn't really care. Connor kissed him again, but not just his lips, he kissed his lips and cheeks, and kissed his jaw and neck, trying to get everywhere he could possibly reach. He kissed to his ear and took Kevin's earlobe between his teeth and pulled slightly. 

"Oh God.." Kevin breathed, curling his toes, and clutching Connor tighter. He felt helpless, like he couldn't do anything. He was completely at Connor's will. Hearing his response Connor took the liberty to pull his earlobe again, and kiss and suck at his neck. Kevin felt his entire body shaking, and could feel Connors shaking hands in his hair. Kevin felt a surge of something in his groin when Connor kissed his neck, and below his ear. He was very turned on. "Connor, wait wait." He said, pushing Connor away a little rougher than intended. Connor looked confused and surprised at himself. He saw him re-evaluate the situation in his mind, and his face went terror-stricken.

"Oh geez." He said, and crawled off Kevin's lap. He stood awkwardly by the bed, not knowing what to do. Kevin felt dumb, sitting on the bed alone, with an almost-erection. He shifted his legs, so he was clutching them to his chest. "I.. uh.. oh man. Kev- I'm sorry I don't know what happened. I'm gonna go back-" he started walking away. Kevin sat up.

"Wait wait! Don't go. Please... Stay." He said. Connor stood awkwardly again, far away from the door, but far away from Kevin as well. He wanted Connor to buy his bed, a really big bed. One that they could crawl into and sleep, and kiss, and touch without feeling obligated to say sorry.

"Shouldn't Elder Cunningham be coming back soon?" He asked tucking a piece of hair that had come out of his now messy bun behind his ear.

"No.. He doesn't stay here at nights anymore since I stopped talking to him." Connor looked sad. He walked back to the bed, and sat next to Kevin.

"I'm sorry." He said

"It's ok." Kevin wanted to hold his hand. 

Kevin held his hand.

"That was my first kiss you know." He said. Connor looked shocked.

"Really? I wouldn't have been able to tell." 

"Have you kissed somebody before?"

"Yes. I had a girlfriend in high school, because I wanted my dad to leave me alone about not having one. And we kissed sometimes... Never like that though." Kevin nodded shyly. "She broke up with me because she said I wasn't interested enough in her..." Connor looked as though he were imagining sitting on her bed, and she was breaking up with him.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be... I don't think I was interested in her." He said and smiled a sad smile at Kevin. Connor teared up. "Oh geez." He said with a nervous laugh and wiped his tears away. Kevin brought a hand to his face, and held his cheek. They stared at each other. "I don't think I was interested in girls Elder Price." He said. Kevin kissed him, and Connor curled up like a cat next to him. The clock said 9, and they were tired. Connor got out of bed and turned off the light. He pushed Arnold's bed next to Kevin's, and they laid together, cuddling like lovers. Kevin thought of the river, and the moon, and Connor's eyes and lips, and his sisters braided hair. He held Connor close. 

"Tomorrow is my birthday..." he said. 

"Furaha ya Kuzaliwa Kevin." Connor whispered, and softly kissed his lips. Kevin closed his eyes and slept.

-

It became a game. He and Connor. They would discreetly touch and kiss while no one was looking. They would sneak off at night, and make out by the river. Connor would sometimes spend the night in Kevin's room when he felt lonely, and Kevin had no qualms because, without Arnold he was just as lonely. 

It seemed like Kevin had grown a new skin, shed his old one and left it outside to rot in the sun. He felt good for the first time in a long time. He had someone who cared for him, and who he cared about, even if they had to hide it from everyone. 

It was about 11 pm. Kevin and Connor were in the kitchen, in the dark, moon shining through the blinds. Connor had Kevin pinned up against the counter with both his arms. They were giggling like school girls, and Kevin wrapped his arms around Connor's neck while Connor whispered things into his ear, which made him laugh even more. He kissed him. They were kissing in the kitchen by the moon, pinned up against a counter. 

He loves the way Connor kisses him. It was soft and tender, but also passionate when he was in the mood for passion. And sometimes (Kevin only thought of it alone, or else he would get a little too excited) it was so hot. When Connor kisses him deeply Kevin feels like he doesn't know how to walk, and his head swims. 

Kevin is tugging on Connor's hair, and biting at his lip. Connor brings his hand up Kevin's side and tickles him lightly.

"You know I'm not ticklish, what are you doing?" Kevin giggled at the failed attempt.

"I'm just checking." Connor said with a smile, moving from Kevin's mouth, to his jaw and kissing him. He kissed all around his face, on his cheeks and nose and eye lids. Kevin was laughing and trying to catch Connors lips in his own when they heard an 'ahem' from the doorway. 

They split apart. Kevin's hands are shaking.

"There's nothing going on between you two, huh?" Arnold said, flicking on the light switch. An orangish glow cast over them. Connor looked terrified, and Kevin wanted to hold his hand. Connor opened his mouth to say something but Arnold beat him to it. "Y'know Kevin... I don't care that this is going on, in all honesty I kind of expected it. But you guys seriously need to be careful... What if I was someone else? What would you have done then?"

"Don't lecture us Arnold." Kevin defended himself. Who was Arnold to reprimand him. 

"I'm not lecturing you Kevin. Do you know what would happen if someone reported you two to the authorities? Huh? You could die! They're serious about that! They don't care that you aren't African, they really don't!" Arnold looked self conscious. It was a strange look on him, and Kevin didn't really like it.

"Well... Are you going to report us?" Kevin asked. He knew the answer, he didn't even have to ask. 

"Of course not."

"Then leave. Leave us alone, we were having a moment and you rudely interrupted it." Kevin gripped the counter, he was angry. Arnold makes him angry. 

"... Fine." Arnold looked at Connor with sympathy, and left. Connor hadn't said anything the whole time. He was visibly shaking, and staring where Arnold had been standing. 

"Hey... Come here." Kevin said, Connor looked at him like he had forgotten he was there. He shook his head, still trembling. "Connor-"

"We just got caught Kevin..."

"... I know." He said, he tried to hold Connors hand, but he pulled away from him.

"We just got caught. Someone knows about us... I don't know what I was thinking, we have to stop this."

"Woah woah woah, wait? Why? What does it matter that he saw us? He won't tell anyone, and we just have to be more careful." Kevin tried to grab his hand.

"Kevin." Connor looked stern, but his eyes were frightened. "We can't... I can't." He said. Kevin grabbed his wrist. Connor backed himself into the corner of the counter. "I don't think you understand what a big deal this is." Connor was so scared, and Kevin wanted to punch Arnold in the face.

"But it doesn't have to be. Listen to me!" He placed a hand on Connor's cheek, and he leaned into it. "I'm here, ok? I'm here and nobody can touch you if I'm here." He kissed his forehead. "We will be fine." He kissed his lips. "I promise." 

"I love you." Connor whispered. Kevin froze. Connor's voice broke. "Um.. I mean."

"No no," Kevin kissed him, and held him. "I love you too."

Connor shuffled back to his room, and Kevin opted for the couch instead of Arnold. 

-

"All I'm saying is I think you two should make up?" Connor played with Kevin's hair as he laid his head in Connors lap by the river during the sunset behind the tall grass. "How long has it been since you've had that fight?"

"Two months..." Kevin stated.

"Geez." Connor sighed. "I really do think you should try and talk to him though." 

"But why?" Kevin was pouting. He didn't wanna talk about this, especially when he was alone with Connor, which had become a rare event, what with Arnold's book coming together after an entire year of being in Uganda. Arnold was spending more time with Connor than Kevin was. "Why should I forgive him?"

"Kev, he just wants what best for you. At least give him a chance?" Connor, leaned down and kissed the tip of Kevin's nose. "Promise me you'll talk to him tomorrow. Promise." Connor said sternly.

Kevin let out a rather dramatic sigh. "I guess."

"Promise me."

"I promise." Sometimes it was very hard to say no to Connor McKinley. "Y'know something? You're my favorite person." Kevin said earnestly while playing with a blade of grass. Connor chuckled.

"Dido."

Kevin flipped over and crawled over Connor so he was laying back against the ground, and Kevin was straddling him. He leaned down and kissed him. Connor sighed through his nose. As they kissed Kevin thought of the sunset and the moon and Connor's freckles. He thought of Arnold and how mad he still was, but how much he desperately wanted to have his best friend back. He thought- Connor's tongue was in his mouth- about Utah and how far away it feels. Like a different time, or a different planet. He thought of his mother and how she would react if she was seeing him right now. Alone with a boy making out on the ground by the river during a sunset in Uganda.

She probably would be very disappointed.

Kevin thought of one time how disappointed he had made her. He came home from school in the 6th grade, with a C in math. She didn't yell. This was his first ever C. She looked at it like it had slapped her, then looked at Kevin like she didn't know who he was. She sent him to bed, no supper. She didn't talk to him for three days, and when she did, all she said was "I'm so disappointed in you Kevin." Kevin never got anything but A's after that. 

Connor parted from him, and Kevin tried to kiss him again, but he dodged his lips.

"Are you ok? You seem.. I don't know you seem different right now." Kevin sighed and rolled off of Connor, laying next to him. Connor rolled onto his side and draped a lazy arm over Kevin's torso, playing with the buttons on his shirt. 

"I'm thinking about my mom."

"You do that a lot." Connor looked concerned. "Do you miss her?"

"I don't know... I think I do... I think I miss her a lot." Connor was stroking his arm.

"Was she nice?"

"Not really." Connor was surprised. "She was pretty distant, never really the cuddling or touching type." Connor snorted.

"You two have that in common." Kevin looked at him confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, before we were close- well, close like this anyway- you would get all weird when people touched you. Even Arnold. You would tense up and not move. It was pretty awkward." Kevin thought of him as a 19 year old. Awkward when people would pat his shoulder or hug him. Now he's 20. A man. Now he knows what it's like to be touched by someone who loves you, and wants to spend time with you. 

"Ya... I guess that's true." It was dark now, and Kevin saw the stars. He thought of freckles and blue eyes.

"Hey, look at me." Connor said with a smile. Kevin turned his head and they kissed. Connor kissed him softly and deeply. He whispered in his ear, "I love you" and kissed him again. Kevin was helpless. Connor kissed his neck, whispering little 'I love you's' after every peck. 

Kevin thought about it. 

He doesn't think he misses his mom very much at all.

-

"I'm nervous." Kevin said.

"Don't be!" Elder Church, Michaels, and Connor were all sitting in the common room with Kevin. "You guys are best friends!" Church said positively. 

"Yeah, best friends who haven't spoken in like... Two and half months." Kevin said. 

"What happened between you two anyway?" Elder Michael's asked. "It seems like all of the sudden you were ignoring each other." Connor blushed, and Kevin thought of a good excuse.

"He is just worried about me getting into trouble, and I think he doesn't know what he's talking about." Kevin said. He thought he saw Church try to hold in a laugh, and Kevin wondered if he knew. He hoped that they wouldn't badger him more about the subject. The two Elders seemed to be satisfied with the response, nodding to each other.

"Well Elder, I think you just have to buckle down and talk to him." Connor said with a smile, placing a friendly hand on his shoulder. He played it up around the others, trying to convince everyone that they were just two 'bros'. He called him 'Elder' and only touched him in friendly ways, and didn't whisper things in his ears. Kevin thought of him and Connor making out by the river, and wondered what Elder Church and Elder Michaels would think of that. He didn't think they would mind.

Kevin smiled at Connor, and they sustained eye contact for a moment too long. Church was looking between them with a suspecting look. 

"I will... I will when he gets home. I'll bring him to our room and we'll talk it out." Kevin said, he was determined now. The other elders glowed. 

"Nice! Tell us how it goes, because it looks like him and Zelder are headed in now!" Michaels was standing by the window looking through the blinds. Church, Michaels and Connor all wished him luck and ran off to Connor's bed room. Kevin sat stiff on the couch. He was nervous. Nervous of Arnold making him mad, nervous of Arnold not talking to him, and of them not being friends anymore. His hands started shaking and he wished Connor was there to hold them. 

Arnold walked through the door laughing obnoxiously at something Zelder said. 

They shared eye contact.

Arnold was silent.

Zelder looked between them, and then mentally decided to see Arnold later and shuffled out of the room. The door was still open, so Arnold closed it. They were still staring at each other.

"... Hey." Kevin said awkwardly. 

"Hi." Arnold said. This was the worst.

"Uh... Can we talk?" Kevin asked. Arnold looked surprised.

"Oh- uh... Sure." He said. Kevin forgot how to move for a second, then stood up and started walking away. Arnold looked dumbfounded. Kevin gestured for him to follow, and then it clicked. 

They walked into their bedroom, which had not inhabited them both at the same time in months. Kevin sat on his bed. Arnold sat on his bed. They looked at each other. Kevin kinda wanted to die.

"I uh... Look, I'm sorry." Kevin said. Arnold looked surprised.

"... What?" 

"I'm really sorry Arnold. I've been a real jerk to you. I know you had good intentions and you were just trying to keep us safe but I guess I just refused to see that and... I'm sorry." Kevin was red. 

"No no I'm sorry! Really I am!" Arnold was sat up straight, all excited like a kindergartener on the first day of school. Kevin could tell he had been waiting to say this for a long time. "Kevin I've just been so worried about you. Naba told me this story about a man that used to live in the village who slept with another man and they were both killed! It was horrifying! And all I could think of while she was telling it was, 'Is Kevin ok?' And 'I hope no one can see them.' Because I knew something was going on between you two, and I felt on edge all the time because I just kept picturing you guys together and someone seeing and telling the police." Arnold looked shaken up. "And I know the police are like, days away, but it still didn't help my worrying." Kevin thought of Arnold crying in Nabalungi's arms because he was worried about Kevin. He realized he had been abusing Arnold by shutting him out, and felt horrible. Kevin cried. "Woah are you ok?" Arnold sat next to him, and Kevin hugged him. 

"I'm so sorry Arnold." He said in between quiet sobs. Arnold held him tight.

"It's ok lil' buddy." He said with a smile, and they parted. Kevin felt embarrassed. "Y'know sometimes I was so worried about you that I would follow you guys out to that river just to make sure no one bothered you." Arnold said. Kevin was dumbfounded. 

"Really?" He asked. Arnold laughed.

"Ya, the best part of that was when I heard McKinley call you 'honey'." He said. Kevin hit his shoulder. "Oh Kevin honey, kiss me under the stars." Kevin hit him multiple times and tried to cover his mouth. He was laughing. He was also crying a little bit too. Arnold was laughing. 

"Shut up. I bet Nabalungi has stupid names she calls you too." Kevin said, wiping his eyes. 

"Well sometimes she calls me Punda Wa Bubu, but I'm pretty sure that just means dumbass." He stared lovingly at Kevin. "You guys do make a cute couple though."

Kevin felt his heart explode. "Thank you." 

"Ok. So now that we're talking again. Spill. What is it like?" Arnold was leaned in like he was about to hear a secret.

"What is what like?" 

"Being with a dude!"

"Oh.. I guess it's no different than being with a girl. But I can't really compare that since I've never been with a girl." Kevin said. Arnold's mouth dropped.

"What!? Really!?" 

"Yes?" 

"Oh man! Well, still spill, I wanna know everything!" Arnold laid down on his bed and propped his head on his hands. Kevin chuckled and started to tell his 'love story' to Arnold. He talked about the river, and how Connor was a dancer, and how they kissed, and touched but haven't really done anything besides that. Arnold looked entranced and they started to compare situations they've been in.

Kevin was warm. He had his best friend back. And he could finally brag about Connor to somebody.

-

Arnold was spending the night at Nabalungi's house. 

It was Connor's 21st birthday. 

The clock read 12:45. 

They had pushed the beds together and were cuddling. In two months they were going home, and Kevin didn't want to think about that, but he did. He hadn't talked to his mother in almost two years.

Connor shifted beside him, and brought up his hand to stroke Kevin's cheek. His hair was so long now. Kevin liked to mess with it. Connor propped himself up and kissed Kevin's lips.

"You're so handsome." He whispered. His mouth tasted like cake, and Kevin shivered. "I love you." Connor was whispering things to him, a habit of his. 

They were kissing, but something was different. Connor was kissing him deeply and his hands were fidgeting, their tongues were touching and sliding against each other. Kevin kissed his neck and sucked on a spot right above his collar bone. 

"Kevin." Was the whisper-moaned response he got. Kevin flipped them over so he was on top of Connor. He seemed to be making more noises than usual, but Kevin wasn't really complaining. Connor was kissing him faster, trying to get everything he could reach. His hands were fidgeting with the buttons on Kevin's shirt, and he got nervous and grabbed his hands. 

"Um..." he was going to say something but he didn't know what. 

"Are you ok?" Connor asked, but he didn't sound like himself. He sounded far away. Kevin didn't really like that.

"I uh.. I think I'm just a little overwhelmed." Connor pulled him close and kissed him softly. Slowly dragging their lips together. He licked Kevin's lip, and inside his mouth. His hands raked through Kevin's hair, tugging lightly, and then going to the collar of his shirt and pulling a little bit. He kissed up to Kevin's ear, and licked the rim of his ear lobe. Kevin shuttered. His face was red. Connor's hands were back at his buttons, now undoing them. Kevin felt hot. It was too hot. He made a noise and removed Connors hands. 

"Kevin." He said with a slightly angry look. Kevin was hyperventilating. "Kevin?" Connor said again, this time with concern. "Hun, are you ok?" He asked, sitting up and placing a hand on his cheek. It was hot, his hands were vibrating, Kevin couldn't breathe. "Woah ok hold on, I think you're having a panic attack." Connor said getting off the bed. Kevin was alone. It was cold. His body felt tight. The lights were on. It was too bright. "Hey... Look at me." Connor lifted his chin. His shirt was still partially unbuttoned. Connor pulled him into a hug, and stroked his hair. Kevin sat and let him touch him. He felt his breath coming back to him. Connor was whispering 'it's ok' over and over into his ear. It was warm. Kevin hugged back.

"I'm sorry" he whispered after a few minutes. Connor smiled at him.

"No don't be. We don't have to do anything until you're ready." Connor said. Kevin was blushing. He felt like a child.

"But I am ready... I don't know what happened." 

"You panicked. And it's ok." Connor said with a kiss to his lips. Kevin was pouting. 

"I don't know why." Connor sat on the bed, and pulled Kevin onto his lap. 

"It happens to the best of us." Kevin flipped over so he was straddling him. He stared at him. Moon eyes. They kissed. Kevin tried to deepen it. Connor pulled away. "No, Kev I don't wanna pressure you."

"You're not! I want to." He pecked his lips, and kissed his cheek, and face and neck. Connors breath hitched. "It's your birthday." He kissed down his neck.

"Are- oh geez- are you sure?" He asked breathlessly. Kevin kissed his lips. 

"Yes." Connor looked deeply into his eyes. He saw straight through him.

"Ok." Kevin jumped off Connor and turned off the light switch. He found his way through the dark, and reclaimed his place back on top of his lap. They kissed, slowly. Connor ran his tongue over Kevin's lip, and slid it in his mouth. It was dark and Kevin felt Connor holding him. His tongue in his mouth and on his neck and jaw. He felt hot, but not like before. This was new. Kevin kissed Connor harder, pushing into him, and he pushed back. He ran his hand through Connor's hair, scratching lightly at his scalp, and he felt the goosebumps on his skin. Kevin ran his hands over his shirt and started to unbutton it. Connor let him.

Kevin had never seen Connor shirtless. He was pale, but his shoulders were splattered with freckles. He looked like a painting. Like Kevin had imagined him. He was suddenly overcome with some sort of emotion and he wanted very much to touch Connor everywhere. He ran his hand over his chest and Connor was breathing heavily. Kevin kissed his collar bone. Connor made a noise. Kevin wanted to hear it again. He kissed all over his chest, gripping his sides. Connor was wiggling under him. Kevin came back up and kissed his mouth, this calmed him down. His hands fumbled with Kevin's buttons. He threw his shirt over the side of the bed. He kissed Connor again, right under his ear. 

"Oh God Kevin I-" Kevin kissed his lips. "Ah- you're really good at this." Kevin was kissing down his chest again. He felt something pressing up against his stomach and it sent a chill up his spine. He looked up at Connor, who was staring at him wide-eyed, like a deer in headlights. Kevin was out of breath. He crawled back up the bed and kissed him deeply. Hungry. He was half moaning into his mouth and it excited Kevin so much he thought he was going to explode. He brought his hand down the the button on Connor's pants.

"Can I?" He asked into Connor's ear.

"Yes please." He breathed out. Kevin undid the button and slid his hand slowly down his pants. He felt skin. It was warm. He massaged Connor. "Oh lord" Connor moaned softly, he was trying to restrain his voice, and sounded choked. He was grinding into Kevin's hand, and Kevin was getting very excited. Connor was gripping his shoulders so tight Kevin thought he might bruise and that excited him even more. Kevin was kissing Connor's neck, and sucked right under his jaw, he kissed down and bit into his skin. Connor made a high pitched something, and came into Kevin's hand. He was breathing heavily, still gripping his shoulders. He stared at Kevin, the moon shown on his hair. 

"C'mere" he whispered. Kevin leaned down and Connor bit his ear lobe. "You were my first, Elder Price."

Kevin came.

All the sudden he was tired. But he was also sticky, and wanted to clean himself up. He got out of bed, grabbing his shirt and half-hazardly threw it on, running to the small bathroom past some of the other bedrooms and grabbing some tissues. He cleaned his hand off and the rest of himself the best he could before bringing some tissues back to Connor, who was sitting up-right on the bed with the blanket over his lap. He had removed his pants, they were on the floor. He had bruises on his neck and chest.

"You're lucky I have long hair." He said awkwardly to Kevin as he handed him some tissues. "Thanks." 

The air was thick, and Kevin was tired. He laid down and pulled Connor next to him. They laid on the bed, Connor in his underwear and Kevin fully dressed. They kissed. 

"Hey." Connor said. Kevin looked in his eyes. "I really love you." He looked tired.

"I really love you too." Kevin replied. "So much it's kind of scary." His hands were shaking. Connor held them.

They fell asleep.

-

Kevin sat by the river, feet in the water. He was watching the moon. They left tomorrow. 

"Hey stranger." He heard from behind him. He smiled. 

Connor sat next to him, and for the first time since they got to Uganda, he willingly took off his shoes and stuck his feet in the water. He leaned over and put his head on Kevin's shoulder. 

"Arnold I cannot see a thing." Kevin heard another voice.

"No- babe ow! Look it's right here." Arnold and Naba came stumbling to the waters edge. The only light was from the moon. The couple sat down with them.

It was silent.

Arnold was next to Kevin, and he grabbed his hand. Connor snuggled closer to Kevin's side, as Naba did the same to Arnold. 

They sat together, a quartet of broken lives, strung together by tall grass and orange dirt. Kevin thought of how much he would miss this back home. He thought of how he had to see his mother. He thought of how he wanted to tell his family about Connor, and tell them how he had fallen helplessly in love with him, and how he had lost his virginity to him. He wanted to tell them about Arnold and Naba and Elder Church. He wanted to tell them about the river and the village people, and how he almost lost his faith. He wanted all these things but he wasn't sure if they would happen. He and Connor had made a plan. Connor would fly home with Kevin and Arnold back to Utah, and Kevin would introduce him to his parents and tell them everything. He was pretty sure they would send them away, and that was ok with him. He would get his things, and they would move in with Arnold, who's parents already know the plan, and have a room ready for them. They would all get jobs and get an apartment and figure out what they wanted to do. Arnold would bring Naba to America on a fiancé visa eventually, and they would get married. 

Kevin thinks that maybe one day he and Connor will get married. 

He thinks he would like that. Him and Connor, sharing a home. Owning a dog or a cat. Maybe one day in the distant future they would adopt a child. Hopefully one from Africa. Kevin likes to think they would adopt a child from Kitguli.

He felt Connor kiss his shoulder and he was brought back to the present moment.  
He gripped Arnold's hand, and felt Nabalungi touch his back. He held them close. His family.

Kevin stared at the moon reflected in the water. 

This was his home.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first story on here lmao. I live in Florida and am about to get fucked up by Irma so pray for us, but I hope u like my story!!!!! It took me a long time to write.


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